Attempting to orchestrate an evening rhythm is no easy task.
If you happened upon my previous blog post about Brooke Mcalarys mindfulness book “Destination Simple” you will understand the exercise I am referring to. But perhaps not the frustration I felt in being unable to undertake it successfully.
The problem is that I get it into my head that everything needs to be worked out immediately, with immediately conveniently being right before bedtime. But the urgency I feel in needing to deal with these “issues” does not represent or correspond with the actual necessities of the moment. It’s not a part of the flow I so dutifully constructed in accordance to the book.
In my search for a solution I came across a really useful trick called allocating worry time. It does take a bit of practice (a lot of practice), but it’s completely worth it because it does work.
So basically you want to begin by taking some deep breaths. Focusing on your inhale and exhale, on the rise and fall of your chest as you breath in and out. Basically trying to relax your body and to let go of your physical tension.
When your mind starts to think about this or that, when you start planning or obsessing, you need to imagine a red light. And you want to tell yourself to stop. You might want to say this out loud or just in your head. But you need to tell yourself to stop.
Say to yourself, “Now is the time to sleep. You will worry about this for an hour tomorrow, at 2 pm.”
The exact time you choose to schedule in your worry is up to you, but it is very important to be specific. Be sure to specify not only the exact time, but also how long you plan to worry about it. Then go back to your relaxation exercises. The moment any of those thoughts come back, just run through the exercise again. See the red light, tell yourself to stop. Now is not the time, tomorrow at 2 pm is the time and you will have a whole hour to figure it out.
The most important thing though, is to follow through with the scheduling. The next day at 2 pm, or whenever you have designated to do it, sit down and think about whatever it was that you were so focused on the night before. Spend that time planning, organizing and worrying about it.
That is it. That’s the trick. It just takes practice and consistency (my two least favourite words) and you can incorporate it into both your evening and morning routines for ease of use.